The Little Things.

My goodness, was tonight one of the most amazing nights I’ve ever had.

It’s all thanks to Jesus Christ, my Savior and Lord.

I’ll be honest… I used to be one of those people in church that would sit in the back, be as quiet as a mouse, and not sing my true praises to God. It scared me to let those insecurities go. To let those fears of sounding awful consume me. 

Tonight, my wonderful friends Catherine, Maureen, and Jake went with me to a service held by Christ Community called “The Stream”, where it’s an in-your-face, two hour, nonstop service of worshiping Christ.

I dropped my burdens at the door and allowed the Holy Spirit to come into my heart.

Singing in community with Christ followers is more powerful than I can explain. We shouted His name. We belted out songs of praise. We all came together to give everything we had on our hearts and minds to Him. The feeling you get when you hear others exclaiming Jesus’ name as loud as they can is overwhelmingly beautiful. Seeing others, and myself, brought to tears is reassuring that the Holy Spirit is breaking us down to build us back up in His grace and strength. 

Now, I’m free of those chains that used to bind me and I praise God more loud and proud than I ever thought I could.

“Oh come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation! Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving; let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!” -Psalms 95:1-2.

It’s been quite some time since I actually made a blog post, but rest assured, I have a story to tell.

Some of you may or may not know that I have a scripture text ministry that I’ve been doing for almost a year now. I send a piece of scripture with a little message Monday through Friday to numerous people, just to give them some inspiration for the day and to encourage them in the word. 

Well, this is where the magnificent story comes in.

One day, as I was sitting at lunch with my dear friends Catherine and Mary, I received a text from someone who I thought was one of my friends that I send scripture to. Turns out, I had the wrong number typed in the entire time and I’ve been sending this anonymous person scripture for the last couple of months. 

In that text, she explained to me that she, obviously, did not know who I was and was wondering why she kept receiving these messages. She wanted to tell me to stop sending her these messages, but something happened in her life. Her father had passed away recently and it was extremely heartbreaking for her to deal with. After her father’s passing, she told me that it seemed as if my scripture I was sending her was guiding her towards a path of peace and healing. She allowed God to open her heart to my ministry and now, she is developing her faith in Christ because of the daily messages I send. She calls me a blessing and changed her life, but I say otherwise.

I am by no means telling this story because I touched her life. No, no. I am not the one who touched her life. It was God opening her eyes. It was God softening her heart. It was God using me as a vessel for His word to help her and guide her to her faith.

I had nothing to do with it. It was the ever-present, ever-loving, ever-encouraging God that used me to do His work.

That’s all.

When I flew to Arizona a couple weeks ago, or whenever I fly quite frankly, I always write a prayer. Not just because it is a time for me to fully engage in him in the midst of chaotic noises in the plane, but it is my time to write down prayers instead of saying them in my head. The written prayers are in your face, ready for you to re-read over and over again when you feel as if life is coming down on you.

Here’s my prayer that was placed on my heart.

Lord God,

Why is it that I cannot fully give You my life? Am I too consumed with earthly things? Am I allowing temptation to mask my strong desire to pursue You? My heart is reaching for You, God, but it hasn’t grasped You yet.

I desire You, God, in everything I do. I want to be like Your son. He has given me a new life to live. He. Has. Set. Me. Free. 

God, I thank you for blessing me with such a beautiful life. The people You’ve placed in my path in this season have shown me that I am worthy to have friends that love me for who You made me to be. They appreciate the friendship and love I show them every day I’m in their presence. They are some of the most Godly friends I’ve come into contact with while here at college. Even though I don’t feel deserving of their compassion, I know that You gave them to me for a purpose.

They love me the way You do.

I say all of these things in Your Name,

Amen.

God,

I want to surrender. I want to give you everything I have. My heart, my mind, my soul, my spirit. Take it all from me and mold me the way You desire me to be. I see myself as a sinner, but You see me as pure. I can’t forgive others for their mistakes, but You forgive me for all of my wrongdoing. I can’t forget my past, but You give me a new future to look forward to.

You, God, are awesome.

I constantly pursue You in every aspect possible. Through my speech, through my actions, through my thoughts, through my love. You have created miracles in my life, from blessing me with the gift to shout Your Name to giving me people in my life that I don’t think I deserve. You have the power to heal and the power to give others multiple chances at life.

You. Never. Give. Up.

I want to put You first God, and I mean really put You first. First before school, first before my relationships, first before temptation.

I want to be like Your Son, Jesus Christ.

Amen, and so let it be.

Here’s a list of conjured-up thoughts about why I love my brother and sister, not only as people, but as my siblings.

First, we’ll start with my sister, Megan.

1. She has and always will be one of my heroes.

2. She is one of the strongest people I know, physically and mentally.

3. She has a laughter that, as loud as it is, is contagious and you can’t help but join in.

4. She laughs at her own jokes, whether they are funny or not.

5. She doesn’t always believe in her true beauty, but I do.

6. Her passion and strong will shine true in everything she does.

7. She’s bossy at times, but someone has to take charge, right?

8. I love her for who she is, which includes being a built-in best friend for eternity.

Now, on to my twin brother and partner-in-crime, Austin.

1. He has a WAY better fashion sense than I do, which helps a lot in times where I need styling tips.

2. He has always been my right-hand-man (no pun intended) whenever I need someone to tag along in car rides.

3. He is the one person who really, truly, knows how to push my buttons.

4. He has a bright personality that not many people get to see often.

5. He cares for his friends as if they were related by blood.

6. He always seemed to get me into trouble when we were younger, but when it came down to he and I’s faults in causing mischief, we would never tattle on each other.

7. I value the time I spend with him watching goofy YouTube videos and laughing until we cried.

8. He is very picky, but that’s a sign to me that he knows what he wants in life.

So, as you can see, there are plenty more things that I could say about them, but I wouldn’t want to overload you in this reading.

In short, don’t ever forget how special your siblings are. They are more valuable than any materialistic thing in this world. Yes, everyone bickers and argues with their siblings, but those should never overshadow the precious and special moments that are shared in laughter, sorrow, and happiness. 

Meg and Audie, if you’re reading this, I love you both more than you know.